Extras  Members  Newsletter 
 
March 19, 2004
Volume III, Issue 2
 
Fringe Clippings
 
Sidespin goes mainstream...
 
Funnyman and former golf pro David Feherty has signed an endorsement deal with Cobra Golf. Fairway Feherty will initially be featured in two different television ads featuring the Cobra drivers and will also become “the voice” of Cobra Golf.
 
Hey kid... 81 Toyota or 89 Big Bertha, your choice, same price...
 
Callaway’s Trade in and Trade Up program just got more interesting. The program originally designed to allow Callaway club users to trade in their clubs for credit toward an upgrade is now accepting Titleist and Ping clubs as well. Future plans include taking in Cleveland, Cobra, Taylor Made, Nike, Hogan and Mizuno clubs.
 
Hey mate, thought we were playing winter rules...
 
If asked to guess who might be a little weak in their understanding of the rules of golf, Greg Norman would most likely not be on your list. However, the Shark had a rule-costing lapse last Friday on the 13th hole of the Honda Classic. Norman thought his tee shot had gone in the water. Had that been the case, he should have had a dropped ball. He declared a provisional and hit a second tee shot. His first ball was found in a bunker and he played it. The twist was that he could by the rules no longer hit the first ball. He was required by rules to play from his second tee shot, the provisional. By this time the penalties would have been like a gazillion and Norman took a DQ. It was the Shark’s first appearance this year on the PGA Tour.
 
The robots are lining up, minus 1...
 
The Ryder Cup race for points is in the home stretch, and most of the names are quite familiar with the exception of one. Jonathan Kaye is currently holding the 8 spot on the team. This bad boy would be a welcome bulldog of a representative for the U.S. team. He will stretch Hal Sutton’s patience if given too much freedom to roam unsupervised at night.
 
 
Paralysis by Analysis
 
Hullabaloo...
 
The Davis Love III affair from the World Match Play event two weeks ago can be described as such. In an age that sees sympathy as a sign of weakness, there is not a red blooded, beer drinking, Red Man chewing American among us who would dare cry foul for their playing partner giving them a good “Noonan” every once in a while. That is not to say that any of the behavior which prompted Mr. Love’s tirade was not distracting, just that it shows equal thuggery to retaliate to simply being poked at.

Off the Fringe is for the “Anti-Thug!,” no matter which side of the spectator’s rope you stand. And this week’s instruction will help you keep from pandering to the lowest common denominator on the golf course.

There are three methodologies that stand out as the great methods to maintain concentration during a round and avoid conflict.
  1. Hypnotism – This tried and true witch doctor magic can really go a long way to keeping you in the zone. After staring blankly at a dangling pocket watch your mind will undergo the equivalent of a circuit breaker tripping. Your brain will have turned off so completely to the outside world that even if someone were to act obnoxious, you would be oblivious.
  2. Play alone – Just as there is no safer sex than with oneself, there is no more sure fire way to lay waste to distractions like heckling playing partners. You know, the sneezer, wheezer, if you sink this you’ll break 90 teaser. Of course if you don’t play with these characters, no one will believe any great moment or round you shoot.
  3. Grow a pair – If anyone is genuinely considering undertaking the previous two tips, please discontinue reading now…Distractions are a part of the game and there is only one way to deal with them. Accept it! Occasionally someone will sneeze in your backswing. From time to time, your playing partners will cheat and purposely try to make your brain hiccup. Whether it is accidental or on purpose does not change the mental toughness it takes to play this game. If you are a sensitive soul then consider it a weakness in your game and improve it.
This advice is not dispensed to fly in the face of the traditional values that support the game. Hecklers, cheaters, scoundrels and scallywags are simply a part of society and, therefore, a part of our game. Just because they lack class and gentlemanly virtues does not exclude them from playing the game. Now pass me a beer, it’s my turn on the tee box.
 
 
Reading the Line
 
There just is not enough space...
 
Pointless articles and countless talk shows have now spent too much time on the Johnny Miller – Craig Parry incident. Johnny Miller is a second rate announcer with an ego bigger than Tiger’s bank account. Craig Parry is a self taught Aussie with a Dingo’s attitude. Contempt spewed from both parties only made the incident more intriguing and brought additional attention to the game. How is this bad? The silver spooned-blueblood-purists may take umbrage with certain traditions being infringed upon, but oh well. Evolution is part of society and as such, part of golf. Not to mention that personality has not always been the strongest part of the Tour’s repertoire.
 
A liitle less distraction and a lot more action...
 
The Augusta police department will not have to worry about overtime pay for its, “Riot Squad.” Martha Burke has decided not to protest at this year’s Masters Tournament. Being relegated to an offsite location last year, Burke’s group the NCWO did not quite roll a steam engine of momentum through Augusta. Burke’s protest of the club’s no women members policy was an ember compared to the raging fire that was threatened. Perhaps she finally got the message. It is doubtful that someone so passionately irrational actually took the time to intellectualize how she could have been wrong, but logic has found a home in the most unlikely of places before. Just look at Mickelson’s new penchant for lying up!
 
Hunt him down...
 
Todd Hamilton almost did not have his first win this past weekend. I say this not to call out his poor play on Sunday but rather the anonymous caller who decided to play the part of the almighty. In a scenario reminiscent of a playground hair pulling incident, a television viewer called in to PGA Tour officials on Saturday to report an infraction on the part of Hamilton. The fan thought he saw Hamilton move his ball on the green. Officials reviewed video footage of the alleged infraction and could find no harm or foul. Perhaps it’s time to screen callers with an abbreviated IQ test. Anyone scoring lower than 75 will not be given access to tour officials. It may sound harsh, but with the influx of fans encroaching upon field play, the public disclosure of golf’s collective intelligence is starting to make Australian Rules Football seem like a thinking man’s game!
 
 
 

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