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April 02, 2004
Volume III, Issue 3
 
Fringe Clippings
 
A smokin' nine...
 
Padraig Harrington finished second on the scorecards, but on Sunday’s back nine he was brilliant. Harrington posted the lowest nine-hole score of the week, shooting a 30. He barely missed a playoff with Adam Scott for the Players Championship title.
 
Please John, no tutu...
 
What do Trim Spa, the weight loss company, and Augusta National have in common? The answer is, of course, John Daly. John will represent them both. Daly will be a 2004 Masters Tournament participant by virtue of staying in the top ten on this year’s money list. He also wears the Trim Spa logo – insert own joke – on the heart side of his shirt.
 
Time for Garcia to grab the cape...
 
Sergio Garcia has long been sitting in the bull pen behind fellow Spaniard, Seve Ballesteros. On golf’s greatest stage, the Masters Tournament, he and two time Masters Champion Jose Maria Olazabal will carry the hope of their countrymen on their shoulders. Seve will not play in this year’s Masters Tournament because of extreme back pain. Not as bad as being gored in the ring, but debilitating nevertheless. After withdrawing for the Ford Championship and Bay Hill, the magical Spaniard flew back to Spain outfitted with a special Orthopedic chair.
 
Annika hits another one into the upper deck...
 
Annika Sorenstam continues as a trailblazer. She recently inked an endorsement deal with the trading sports card and memorabilia company Upper Deck. She is the first female athlete – that's athlete, not just female golfer – to do so.
 
 
Paralysis by Analysis
 
The Best Beer while golfing is...
 
Reviewing beer and its quality as it pertains to golfing is a humongous undertaking. Believe it or not this called for many extra rounds at the club to complete said task. Not to mention the sampling of different libations en route to deciding what the ranking for beers for golfing should be.

First things first, however. All testers involved in the review process were of legal drinking age, none were pregnant at the time of testing, and all had a designated cart operator. No one consumed more than two brews in one round… ok, maybe the last part isn't true, but the designated cart operator is!

Rankings are based on taste, price and effect on hand-eye coordination. A ten point system was in use for each category. Meaning that if a beer scored a 9 in taste, a 7 in price and a 7 in effect on Hand Eye Coordination, then collectively the score would be a 23. The higher the taste number, the better the beer tasted, the higher the price number, the lower the cost of the beer, and finally, the higher the H/E/C number, the more umm, relaxed, yea that's the word, the more relaxed one was while playing. A word of note: we found that too much of a relaxed feeling had a negative impact on scoring. So get a pad and paper to take notes on what to order at the turn or you could just print this out. Oh, by the way, the collective scores mean nothing relative to good or bad. We only included them because the methodology looked so good in Road & Track's car tests.

Amstel Light  - Taste: 8; Price: 5; H/E/C: 6 = 19
Budweiser   - Taste: 6; Price: 8; H/E/C: 7 = 21
Miller Lite   - Taste: 7; Price: 8; H/E/C: 7 = 22
Mike's Hard Lemonade  - Taste: 8; Price:7; H/E/C: 8 = 23
Schlitz Malt Liquor  - Taste: 4; Price: 9; H/E/C: 9 = 22
Corona   - Taste: 8; Price: 7; H/E/C: 8 = 23
Heineken   - Taste: 8; Price: 5; H/E/C: 7 = 20

Of course these rankings are purely subjective and opinion based. If you have a pallet that is quite used to fraternity beer, then Off the Fringe would highly recommend you stick with Ham's or Pabst Blue Ribbon, as they are certainly priced right. However, if your wallet and taste are a bit more demanding then please don't hesitate to purchase a Bass or go for the gold with a true golfer's drink, scotch and water. Think about how hydrated you will stay with some H2O and Jameson!

While we have made light of this subject, we want you to have a good time, but please drink responsibly. Remember, alcohol can dehydrate you, and in the heat of the summer this can be a dangerous situation. Hydrate with water. Please consume alcoholic beverages responsibly and in moderation. If after teeing up you see more than one ball at once, don't hit any of them. Call a cab and go home!
 
 
Reading the Line
 
A walk in the Park...…
 
Since not too many of you were watching the first Grand Slam event of the year this past Sunday, The LPGA’s Kraft Nabisco Championship, allow me to mention some of what you missed. Grace Park shot 11 under par on the tricky Mission Hills Country Club Tournament course to win. She capped it off Sunday with a six foot birdie on the final hole after her nearest competitor Aree Song rolled in a 30 footer for eagle to move to ten under. Michelle Wie finished a not too distant fourth at 7 under and Annika Sorenstam was tied for 12th at 3 under. The ladies’ show for the weekend was something to behold, and need I remind you gentlemen these ladies are quite easier on the eye than most of the sweat laden men whose champion incidentally had to stumble into his win on Sunday. The LPGA has a more consistent and competitive talent pool. Just try watching sometime, obviously not Masters week. But give it a shot one of these days. For an extra good time, when the LPGA Road Show comes into your town, be sure to score a ticket. You will be humbled and amazed!
 
Tiger's not in total Harmon+e...
 
He looks awful. His swing is a mess. His bank account is drooping like a cocker spaniel’s ear after drinking out of the big dog’s bowl. But somehow or another Tiger has only finished out of the top ten twice in six tournaments this year, and he is still fifth on the money list. Much is being made of the striped one’s split with his former instructor Butch Harmon, but fall not into this trap, Fringe Faithful. His work with Harmon in the years preceding the split were at best on a consultant level. Tiger will be just fine. If Vijay expects to beat out Tiger for the top spot in money winnings, he’ll need an extra ten tournaments again this year to win the title. Tiger’s reign may not be as dominant as we are accustomed to seeing, but it is still his monarchy and will be for some time.
 
She is just fine the way she is...
 
LPGA star Rosie Jones publicly announced that she is a lesbian. Many have known for quite some time about her orientation, and it is a credit (note the impending pat on the back) to the golf media for not exploiting the sexual orientations of Rosie or anyone else. The thrust of this particular commentary is to applaud the non-issue that the golf intelligista at large typically makes of such an announcement. It is nice to see how welcoming this sport is by both its professionals and patrons. Incidentally, Rosie made her announcement while playing in Arizona at Superstition Mountain. Apparently, she isn’t.
 
 
 

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